Jake “The Snake” Roberts RAW Review: August 11, 2008

So much for tag team tournament. For belts, bet it happens tonight but don’t we all expect
the split now. Of course, especially with opening footage. Who goes heel?–after all, Cena
did the punch and slap. So who is right or wrong? I hope they don’t drop the belts back or
maybe they address the slap. Kick, bite, hit me with a chair, but don’t slap me–that’s even
worse than spitting on me.

Crowd split … John, how are you going to handle this? I do hate people calling Batista
“Dave” … doesn’t look like a Dave. Wouldn’t it be crazy to have show start with match in
progress? I hate these 5-10 minute talkathons trying to promote, build and hype what’s
coming up later or at PPV. Sounds like a commericial–Gone wild crap shoot. Cena plants
the seed for split-doubt-promises-dare-ominous cloud-doomsday around the corner. Cena
really coming off as a heel in all aspects! Oh no, please not another pose-a-thon with
belts!

Excellent Summerslam commercial–gotta give to WWE as far as commercials having Hollywood
look. The only problem I have with Hollywood commercial, pyro, special guest, and diva
searches … it’s sad, that more money spent on these than on talent, that are short lived
and used up like toilet paper. WWE receives CINE trophies and that is the proof in the
pudding.

Thumbs up for the troops, and WWE receiving trophies and positive press for going.

Kelly Kelly vs Glamazon
Well that was scary, seeing snakeskin at ringside, even if it was on George Thorogood.
Boy toy Santino doing commentary has to be a plus. But here we go again, baby face
opens up kicking and punching, and why? Damn school boy almost got Glamazon. They did
just enough to show that Kelly is not a quitter. After match, going to punish Kelly but saved by
Kofi and Mickey Jay. Thank GOD they brought their belts down. Something I always carry when
I am pulling people out of a burning house. Let’s always take advantage of hometown
talent–challenge put out to Mickey Jay. Santino is ready to wrestle her, just so he can learn,
where not to put his hands. Where’s Adamle now? Now we go to the commercials. Vince had
seen a Gillette commercial and then wasn’t that Duggan driving in the Snicker’s commercial?
If so, they were definitely doing lip syncing.

Mickey Jay vs Santino
Cute stuff, for entertainment purposes. Mickey, you moved too soon on double knee drop.
Had to expect Glamazon doing damage after ploy with Kofi draws attention. But my God,
why did Santino have to finish her off with that blood curdling school boy? Unique match,
set for Summerslam, but again, why piss on some belts that are already water-logged?

One thing never missed by WWE is the baited hook to keep you from turning channels during
a commercial. How many times (nearly all the time) do they plant the seed for more to
come? Wouldn’t it be nice if they delivered? WWE Classics on demand worth buying? I think
so, more so than current product. Notice the fans in the audience going bonkers. That’s
proof.

Rhodes and Dibiase promo, not real bad, but nothing even close to their Fathers. One thing
for sure, talent takes time to develop, and maybe with hard work and experience they will rise
to the challenge in front of them.

Much work needed on interviews and gain a lot of weight Cody to match up with Dad’s
abs and Dibiase no doubt you got your chest from Mom.

Cryme Tyme and Highlanders.
Enhancement match with no one to lead. That’s not doing anybody any good. You ever
heard of building a match, same way you build a house, start with foundation and then
build up. Then after it’s built you can go ahead and burn it, and waste it, much like the time
in this match. It impressed no one. Ever notice more time given for entrance , pyros, music,
and exits than the match? That really sucks. But sometimes you can see why. Another thing
that stinks is commercial breaks are longer than matches.

Randy Orton , they say you flew over 300 feet, once leaving bike. That’s the length of a football
field. My prayers and thoughts go out to family. Always looked up to your Father as one of the
very best. Don’t know if you’ll ever be able to measure up to his ring expertise. But that’s really
not important, I hope you recover and live a full life. Hope report was magnified but none the
less I hate it for you. You have all the talent in the world although most still untapped. But
remember accidents and foolish decisions can ruin the grandest of dreams, as we all know
too well.

May God Bless.

CM Punk /JBL interview in ring with the imaginary wall separating them. CM finally shoots
with interview from heart. Boring and who is this going to help? A drinking contest, brilliant.
Clean living CM just goes to show can’t judge a book by its cover. Really doesn’t look like
Penelope Pureheart. Not bowing to peer pressure is a great lesson for kids. Trying to
distinguish good and evil. Still crap. JBL, I know how much liquor burns in the eyes, don’t
you Lawler??

Shawn promo again, great stuff, proves slow it down, take the time, sell the damage done,
and you will get desired effect.

Jericho vs Kane
Jericho little late with kick after Cade drew Kane’s attention. As far as I’m concerned, this
was a horrible match-up. Not going to help anyone and a waste of time. Or maybe this was to
bore so Adamle can waste all the good work done by Kane. All the evil turned to pitiful slop.
Adamle had no fear, where’s the exorcist when needed? Oh, please, see Spot? See Spot Run..
and by the way, who the hell wants a normal life? Mysterio’s mask in bag. Where’s this going?
Who knows, the water gets deeper and darker and just like I said earlier they suggest huge
surprise uncovered and things still not delivered. Wonder how a fish feels when it bites the
empty hook, just teased , not pleased.

Jamie Noble, vs William Regal
Almost quick enough. Regal does come across great. Looks to be serious, enough said.

Smackdown
Good curve and well produced hype. Edge has gone over the edge. Hope they deliver.

Cena-Batista and Rhodes -Dibiase
Wonder why the champs came out first? Whatsup? Just another way to go to commercial.
Hopefully match will be in progress when we return. Not so. Cena argues over who’s going to
start match. Taunting Batista after firing back on the heels when they jumped him, while
arguing. Cena still acting the heel-backs off Batista then slaps him on back to tag. Cena
doing his best to provoke and again I ask, who’s going to be the heel? Surely not going to
have another Sergeant Slaughter, turning his back on the red-white-and-blue. Batista takes
it out on the heels. Taunts Cena goes for finisher. Cena saves the heel, allowing heels to injure
his knee. Batista slaps Cena in face for tag, argument ensues again, tease, tease, just don’t
please. And be damned if that ultra intense school boy doesn’t give us new champs. Hope the
build up will be as good as the match at Slam.

Folks new record. Damn I wished I’d have watched Green Bay game, even with all Favre stuff,
bet there was more than the 17 minutes of not so riveting action provided. What the hell, let’s
watch info-mercials. At least they give you a choice, in buying their crap. This has to rank as
one of the worst wrestling shows I’ve ever forced myself to watch.

If this doesn’t prove how much I love this business and care about those who read this, then
nothing ever will. Wonder if Freddy Prince Jr., can read?