Jake The Snake Take on Raw:

RAW Review: September 1, 2008

Killer Kowalski honored and should be. Certainly a bright star will
be in the heavens to shine for eternity. Never wrestled him but he
carried the load for a long time. A gentleman who contributed for
nearly one half a century. Performed and taught new talent, and I have
the utmost respect. He is certainly missed.

We also lost Sonny Fargo. Got to tell you he was something special.
Very talented as a referee at Mid Atlantic and wrestled also.
Entertained and carried out the character he was asked to. We will all
miss you, Iggy Opediah Faggert.

Raw-Labor Day
Good to see RKO at least appearing on the tube, especially the way
you’re laying this out. But must say can anyone bring honor back to
Raw, the belts, or wrestling as I knew it? Like the idea and good
interview.

CM gets hammered again. You truly overshadowed anything he tried to
deliver. I’ve always known for a fact that shoot interviews are
entertaining for those who know what they are talking about. But
don’t like them much because they seem to become personal. Randy, in
this case, its all laid out there for even the most uninformed fan to
grasp. What we’ve been served as a meal not worth smelling, much less
eating. So at least us old school folks can pray someone will raise
the bar a bit.

CM, you can’t say they aren’t giving you a bone. Little by little it
will be done. Trust me, Vince can make chicken soup out of much less
talented fools than you. Work hard, keep your head up and you’ll get
over even more than you can imagine. Facts in history support this
when the finger is pointed at anyone, it shall be done. Vince doesn’t
give up and refuses to fall short. But DAMN, a 10 minute interview to
open the show.

Again we are trying to set up the main event and showcase individuals.

Batista’s still the animal and Raw needs him. Six more minutes
spent for setting up battle royal. Wouldn’t a match be different?
Just a thought, but you spent close to 20 minutes and not one match.
Forgive me … I should be smart enough to catch on you aren’t selling
wrestling. This is nothing but an informercial for PPV. Well at least
we can watch Mickey James on Friday night at 10:00 pm on Psych.

Name Unforgiven everywhere. Video wall, every word spoken, and even
the King’s t-shirt. First match—–

Charlie Haas (aka Cena) vs Kofi Kinston

Babyface never grabbed one hold, but to be fair only a minute and 50
allowed. Regardless of time, take the time to do whatever you choose
but do it right. Talk about scrambles, that is what you were doing
Kofi. After you’d done, you’re please opponent, lay there, while I
make an idiot out you maneuver. God I hate when a guy’s asked to lay
there, let a guy dance, hand jive, hit the ropes, waive at the
mailman, and waste 20 seconds of what little time they have on
horseshit. Yes, the people may cheer, clap and laugh, but people will
do the same for a baby boy pissing straight up in the air, when you
are trying to change his diaper. Slow down guys. Haas the chameleon.

Wonder who is next? Actually did a pretty good job, except for losing.

Orton tried to build a fire, or a stable around him. Great slap!
Cody, where did you get that horrible shirt? So much for looking like
a champ. Randy, truly wished I could spend some time with you,
because I feel like I could get inside your head and help you work on
your presence and mic skills.

Adamle gets one right, Mysterio is needed.

ECW Battle Royale. 4 minutes spent on entrances, 3-1/2 minutes on
match. Need I say anything more? Except predict Hardy will become
champ at Unforgiven.

Next abortion … Regal vs Noble
How can you waste this talent on developing yet another love affair
and Christ, this one for Noble? Disgusting me to the utmost.

Six woman tag
Mickey James and Kelly Kelly and Candice Michelle vs Beth Phoenix,
Katie Lea Burchill and Jillian Hall.
Katie grabs hold and pulls hair! What, a heel thing to do. Course
babyface fires back with forearms, punching and kicking. Don’t you
love a heel that pulls hair, tights, and draws a referee so her
partner can cheat? Wow, what a concept.
Girls, when you get tired of doing this, and I hope you don’t, pass it
on to the guys.

Candice Michelle head scissor on Jillian … Looks sloppy, dangerous, and
be damned if they didn’t feature that move in slo-mo replay. Is that
what happens when TV people run a wrestling show? Again same
amount of time, close to 4 minutes, given for entrances and a little
bit less for the match. Damn, things have changed. Of course the
whole time, the announcers are pushing PPV. There was some
great spots, and decent work, with Kudos, going to Mickey for
selling pretty well. But don’t make your own comeback. Almost
got sick of Glamazon, at least grabbed your ankle and tried to
stop you from tag. And boy is this girl strong, it was an
impressive finish that got everyone involved. So far the best
was done by these ladies.

Santino vs D’Lo
2 minutes 20 seconds spent on entrance and set up of Hulkameter.
Love your Honky-Tonky man. And still enjoy your stuff with Glamazon.
You’re good, but she’s one of the breast. Why is it, when something
works, they want to get everybody on it? Now everybody’s having a
love affair. And no sex yet. Oh well, here lately, been teasing
wrestling and none tonight. So nobody’s getting any.

D’Lo, don’t feel bad, you can’t bitch, hell look at Regal. But to
tell you the truth, about 1/2 way down the ramp you started looking a
lamb going to slaughter. Again, there was more time spent on entrances
almost 1 minute, than the match itself.

John Morrison and Miz vs Cryme Tyme
Certainly not a complete waste although, what happened to John and
Miz? Some would have thought they would have tried to join in and
kick Cryme Tyme’s butts with Rhodes and Dibiase. Smart thing though
was not letting them join in, but it would have been nice had the
champs at least threatened them. Oh well, now we’ve had an assault
brought on by stolen belts, and Orton bitch-slapping may have brought
this on. Constant promo for PPV.

Now to the political campaign. Encouraging WWE’s fans to vote. It
also keeps WWE mainstream up front, and elite, where the stars are.
Still say one of McMahon’s will run for political office. Truth is,
Dad, Mom, Brother, Sister, or the dog would probably win. That’s how
good the WWE machine performs.
Battle Royale with Royale contestants..
Where’s Rey? Oh well, he’ll know to get there at the right time.
Battle Royales for the most part are usually pretty rotten. Got too
many people that are worrying about themselves and not interested on
getting the other guys or match over. Match like this everyone has to
get their moment to shine and takes cooperation to do it. It has to
be give and take. You create issues reaffirm strengths, expose
weaknesses but should be everyone giving, not just taking. So go out
and do it. JBL, for example looked pretty good in his moment. But
1/2 speed, off the ropes, to take Batista’s spear looked like someone
just not interested. But second chance for JBL and this wasn’t easy I
re-watched the whole damned match. Looks as if one of two things.
Leg injury or hemoroids. Bump over the top by JBL was nearly as long
as the whole match. Obviously stole that move from Jay Stongbow. CM
again, you got the bone, Kane made you look fairly decent and again
you found out you need to change finishes, cause you can’t do it to
the big boys. 5 minutes for match, 4:15 for entrances. But wait a
minute, just like last week, they heated Kane up and blew it off
before the end of the show. Thought it was good for Orton to be at
ringside and didn’t think much of CM squirting him with water. You
could have crippled him!!

Rey hits the ring and saves a pretty bad evening, and it’s not over
yet. Good to see you looking right. And trust me folks, Kane and Rey
will have some entertaining and believable contests.

Shawn and Jericho signing.
This is how you want to close a show? Well, guess what, you may have
ended someone’s career. It’s funny how adrenaline will allow
you to get up and keep going when all watching know you are hurt.
There’s only a couple of people and neither of them wrestlers
that I would wish what happened to you Shawn would happen to them.
Now for the bad news–20 minutes of this show was spent on ya’lls angle.
And are you going to be able to work at Unforgiven?

In closing, I would add the times up of actual wrestling, interview
time, and entrances but why not let the smart ass who’s bothering me
do something. Surely you can count, even if you can’t remember your
name. Its time to step up or step out.

Let me think about that. Who’s the guy that invented the DDT? Easy,
Jake Roberts. Who’s the guy that wrestles 34 plus years and still
yearns to do it? Easy, Jake Roberts. Who’s the guy that carries a
snake in a bag? Jake Roberts. Who’s the king of Psychology? Right
again, Jake Roberts. My question, who in the hell are you? Last
chance, you’ve hissed me off.
Jake

Thank you for your POW on Raw Jake!!