Raw Fusion: 900th Episode

by Firefly on 31st August 2010

The 30th August 2010 episode of Monday Night Raw starts out before the titles roll with a video highlighting past shows and hyping that this is the 900th episode, with Bret Hart making his way to the ring after the titles roll, talking about being on the first Raw, saying that only one other person is still in the WWE who was around then – The Undertaker.

Kane interrupts and says that there is no Undertaker any more thanks to him, The Undertaker is no Phenom, is not phenomenal, and is just a man. He says that The Undertaker is just like Hart – weak, feeble, straggly, over the hill, and irreversibly damaged.

He says that the last time that he was truly The Undertaker was at WrestleMania when he ended the career of Shawn Michaels, commenting that Hart must have loved that, seeing as he seemingly made amends with him but really utterly despised.

Hart rebuffs this by saying that the only thing he is going to savour is when The Undertaker beats Kane like he always does – which Kane says makes him sound like The Undertaker now too. He says that the only thing he wanted his entire life was to break out of his brother’s shadow and to prove that he is the “Devil’s Favourite Demon”.

He says that The Undertaker took out an icon in Shawn Michaels, so he needs to take out one of his own – Bret Hart. Grabbing him by the throat, The Hart Dynasty run in to little effect until the lights go out and The Undertaker appears in the ring. After a stare-down, Kane exits the ring, the lights flash, and Michael Cole reads out an email from the General Manager, with Cole informing us that tonight will pit Bret “The Hitman” Hart against The Undertaker.

Next up, we have a Triple Threat Tag Team match, with Michael McGillicutty and Kofi Kingston taking on the team of Kaval and Daniel Bryan and the team of The Miz and Alex Riley. The match ends with The Miz hitting the Skull-Crushing Finale for the victory. Afterwards, Bryan kicks Riley off the apron, only to turn around and be hit in the face by The Miz with the Money In The Bank briefcase.

After a Slam Of The Week video recapping the events of last week between Melina and LayCool, we have a tag team match between LayCool and the team of Melina and Eve Torres. Melina gets the win for her team after rolling up Layla for the 3-count.

Afterwards, LayCool extend their proposal to Melina – a title unification match at Night Of Champions, which Melina accepts on the condition of it being a Lumberjack match, with LayCool also accept.

Going backstage, we see The Nexus talking and Tarver says that people have been saying that they’re weak because of kicking out Darren Young and Skip Sheffield breaking his ankle, Barrett says that later on tonight they will beat five of the biggest superstars in WWE history, and at Night Of Champions, Barrett will become WWE Champion, something which doesn’t sound weak – as for tonight, they’re going to do something that will be unforgettable.

Josh Mathews starts to interview Chris Jericho but he interrupts him and says that he tells people that he is the best of the world at what he does because it’s true, but people don’t seem to believe that, so he’s going to make a promise – if he doesn’t win the title at Night Of Champions, he’ll be gone from WWE.

Back to the ring, John Morrison and R-Truth take on Drew McIntyre and “Dashing” Cody Rhodes to determine the number one contenders to the WWE Tag Team titles. The match ends with an apparent No-Contest decision as the referee calls for the bell after both teams keep attacking each other and not listening to him.

Now, The Undertaker goes against Bret “The Hitman” Hart. Before the bell can ring, Wade Barrett comes out and says that this match isn’t going to happen, that when people talk about the 900th episode of Raw they’ll want to talk about the future, and the future is The Nexus, and the leader Wade Barrett.

He says that he’s going to delouse Hart and prove to the world that The Undertaker is a dead man, though when he attempts this he is quickly on the losing side and clotheslined out of the ring by The Undertaker.

After the lights going out and coming back on a number of times, as well as the remaining members of The Nexus making their way to the ring and attempting to attack The Undertaker, it ends with The Undertaker getting hit with The Wastelands by Barrett and a 450-Splash from Gabriel as Kane looks on form the ramp and laughs.

Next, Jack Swagger is pitted against Evan Bourne, with Swagger hyping himself and his accomplishments since he was last on Raw and insulting Boston during his entrance. During the match, Alberto Del Rio makes his way to ringside (and gets announced by his personal ring announcer).

After Swagger has won by making Bourne tap out to the ankle-lock, Del Rio comments that Rey Mysterio is not there, but since people won’t have seen it, he will recreate what he did to Mysterio on Bourne, then quickly getting into the ring and applying the Cross-Armbreaker to him.

He is trying to put Bourne’s arm in a steel chair when Mark Henry’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring, being intercepted by Del Rio but punching the chair out of the way, causing Del Rio to retreat up the ramp.

After a video recapping the WWE’s visit to China, CM Punk makes his way to the ring with the remaining members of the Straight-Edge Society (as Serena was released by WWE) and grabs a microphone. Punk says that he is better than The Rock – he doesn’t smoke, or drink, or make crappy movies like “The Tooth Fairy”.

Asking the crowd if they like or miss The Rock, he says that he doesn’t, saying that The Rock epitomises the septic tank of a show that is Monday Night Raw, that though nine hundred shows is a milestone, they have been promoting poor family values, and if you don’t believe it, he’s got two words for you – Katie Vick.

He says that if we don’t get it, we can “Youtube it” and that will drive us to drink and then we can go see him so he can be our saviour. He says he’s taken it upon himself to show us four of the most atrocious acts committed on Raw by Raw Superstars, and he is the judge, jury and executioner.

The first clip is of Triple H’s attack on Randy Orton in his home, the second is of Edge and John Cena fighting by the harbour, the third is DX’s invasion of WCW, and the fourth is Stone Cold Steve Austin hosing down The Corporation with beer.

Afterwards, he teases an Austin appearance and laughs at the crowd, asking if the crowd is disappointed, he says that is exactly how he feels when he sees each and every one of them. He shows another clip, this time of Brock Lesnar hitting a Superplex on The Big Show that broke the ring, afterwards saying that it represents being criminally obese.

The Big Show interrupts now and makes his way to the ring with a microphone, and commenting on Punk going with a fat joke, he says that he’s lost weight… then says that he found it. He says Punk should have gone with a more embarrassing moment, such as when he had chronic diarrhoea for five days thanks to a burrito given to him by Eddie Guerrero. He also suggests his attempt at Sumo wrestling or kissing Vickie Guerrero.

Show does an impression of Hulk Hogan, but Punk says that it wasn’t entertaining, just boring and nobody likes him – Show says that was mean and ends up using his raised hand with a slap to Punk’s chest, then Gallows’ making them retreat up the ramp.

Mathews introduces Sheamus on the stage and Sheamus says that everyone is there to celebrate the 900th episode of Raw, everyone except Triple H thanks to Sheamus. He says that he is being punished by having to defend his title against five different opponents at Night Of Champions, calling the crowd a “bunch of plastic paddies”, he complains about being disrespected and discriminated against.

Edge interrupts now and says that Sheamus is giving him a headache, and that since he himself debuted, he’s had psychopaths break up his weddings, deranged ex-employees run through the crowd and attack him, been hit with chairs and thrown through tables.

He says he has given back three times as many though, having won 29 championships in the WWE, also winning the Royal Rumble and Money In The Bank winner, and he will add winning the six-pack challenge to the list of accolades by becoming the new WWE Champion.

After a video recapping the events of last week between the participants of the six-pack challenge, Edge, Jericho, Sheamus, Orton, and Cena take on The Nexus in a Tag Team Elimination match, with Barrett getting the victory when it is down to him and Orton after hitting him with The Wastelands for the 3-count.

Afterwards, Barrett stands tall and celebrates as Raw goes off the air.

About the Author: Firefly

Avatar of Ron Simmons saying "Damn!"
Discovering WCW Monday Nitro in the 1990s, he has been hooked on wrestling ever since, later going on to also discover WWF (now WWE), and even later numerous independent promotions, IMPACT Wrestling (Formerly known as TNA) and now the very captivating challenger known as AEW.

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