Raw Fusion: The Rock Says
The 14th February 2011 episode of Monday Night Raw starts with hype that the Guest Host of WrestleMania will be revealed later on, but first after a video recapping their match and it’s aftermath last week, we have John Cena taking on CM Punk in a match which MUST have a winner.
Before the match takes place however, Cena grabs a microphone and thanks the absent Jerry “The King” Lawler for the assist of a steel chair last week, and then talks about it being Valentines day and about WrestleMania’s Guest Host.
He says that he thinks his own guess is quite likely, and that guess is Michael Cole. He qualifies this as he says that Vince McMahon said that it’s a man who has experienced a special moment and has extraordinary attraction and is involved in something that has never been seen before.
Cena says that Cole has a special moment every time he gets a sensual late night email from the Anonymous Raw General Manager, says that he’s in a love triangle with The Miz and Alex Riley, and that there is no proof that Cole is actually male – then he tells Cole not to stand up and embarrass himself as it would be like looking at a Ken doll.
He says that Sunday we find out who goes to WrestleMania as the WWE Champion, and that after the year he has had he needs this WrestleMania moment, mentioning working for The Nexus, being fired and living off powdered milk and crayons, and then coming back but still having to deal with The Nexus.
Cena says that the great part about the Elimination Chamber is that only one person from The Nexus is allowed in there, which is CM Punk – at this point, Punk’s music hits and he makes his way out and makes his way to the ring.
Punk says that he does not need the members of The New Nexus to defeat Cena, it’s in the history books that the last two times they met show Punk 2, Cena 0. He says that he doesn’t need to hear him run down good Samaritans like Cole, and he doesn’t need the people in Anaheim like he does, because he unlike Cena is a good person – and even there, good things happen to good people.
The match ends with Punk getting the victory after a member of The New Nexus gets around the ban from ringside when they hand a chair to Punk – which he then pushes into the ring to distract the referee – followed by a wrench which Punk hits Cena with and follows it up with the GTS for the 3-count.
After Cole mentions that Jerry “The King” Lawler is not in attendance due to the passing of his mother, we see a Slam Of The Week video recapping the events of Raw two weeks ago between Alberto Del Rio and Edge, followed by Del Rio making his way to the ring after he is introduced by Ricardo Rodriguez.
Del Rio introduces himself, but says that we already knew that, before he continues to say that it makes no difference to him who wins the World Heavyweight Championship at the Elimination Chamber, as just like it was his destiny to win the Royal Rumble, it is his destiny to become the World Heavyweight Champion at WrestleMania.
Edge’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring and says that over the past few weeks he has been so busy beating Dolph Ziggler that he almost forgot that Del Rio hit him with a guitar two weeks ago.
He says that he has a destiny too, and after asking Del Rio if he wants to know he takes him down and starts to attack him; an attack that sees Rodriguez get a clothesline and leaves Del Rio outside the ring after he is speared off the apron.
Edge raises his arms in victory, but is soon interrupted by an “excuse me” from Vickie Guerrero, who makes her way out onto the stage and introduces the New World Heavyweight Champion, Dolph Ziggler, with a video then being shown of the championship match on last week’s SmackDown!.
Vickie tells Edge that she told him over and over again that if he used the spear he would face the consequences, and this Friday on SmackDown! we will have the official coronation of the World Heavyweight Champion.
She says that Edge lost his title last week, but he’s about to lose something else – his job, as Vickie says she has proof that he is the one who assaulted Teddy Long, and she then descends into laughter.
Next, Natalya is pitted against Eve in a Lumberjill match for the Divas Championship. The match ends with Eve countering Natalya’s pin attempt into a pin of her own to get the 3-count and retain the title.
Going backstage, The Bella Twins and Eve argue, which quickly descends into a fight that Gail Kim also ends up joining in. Back in the arena, Mark Henry is introduced for the upcoming match when Sheamus runs down and takes him out with a Brogue Kick.
Grabbing a microphone, he tells the participants in the Elimination Chamber that it is a reminder of what he is capable of, but if they need a further reminder, they should see what he does to Randy Orton later on, and he hits the rising Henry with another Brogue Kick before leaving.
After a WWE Rewind video recapping the tag team match between the team of Daniel Bryan and Jerry Lawler and the team of Ted DiBiase and The Miz, The Miz makes his way to the ring for the upcoming match against Daniel Bryan, and Alex Riley joins Cole and Josh Mathews on commentary.
The match ends with The Miz hitting the Skull-Crushing Finale on Bryan for the 3-count. Afterwards, The Miz grabs a microphone and asks if we all saw what he just did, before saying that he knows we did but that one person who didn’t was Jerry Lawler.
He says that we know that Lawler isn’t there due to the passing of his mother, so he’d like to take this moment to offer his sincere condolences, however he hopes that Lawler doesn’t use it as an excuse for why he loses at the Elimination Chamber Pay-Per-View, when The Miz wants him to hear that he is still the WWE Champion, because he’s The Miz, and he’s awesome.
Next up, Michael McGillicutty and David Otunga (accompanied by Mason Ryan) go against John Morrison and R-Truth in a match which sees Ryan neutralised by Morrison and Truth, before Morrison hits the running knee on McGillicutty for the 3-count.
Afterwards, Ryan tries to attack Morrison but is forced to retreat thanks to him and Truth. Now, Ariel Winter is introduced and she in turn introduces the Khali Kiss Cam after mentioning that Triple H plays her father in the movie “The Chaperone”.
According to Ranjin Singh, The Great Khali says welcome to a special Valentines day edition of the Khali Kiss Cam, but one difference will be cameras rolling live in the arena and backstage too. The ones shown backstage are Tamina and Santino, Ted DiBiase and Maryse – until Maryse shows him the hand instead and turns around and pulls Yoshi Tatsu into a kiss, William Regal and Zack Ryder – with Regal giving Ryder a kiss on the cheek. The Kiss Cam then focuses on Hornswoggle and Ariel, with the former handing the latter a heart-shaped box and receiving a kiss to the cheek.
Now, Sheamus takes on Randy Orton in a match which sees Orton hit an RKO for the 3-count, however he is unable to celebrate for long as he is then set upon by The New Nexus. Morrison, Truth, and Cena run down to even the odds, and when all is said and done, Orton and Cena are left standing tall in the ring.
Next, a limo pulls up outside and when the door opens it is clearly the foot and leg of a woman, however no specific details are relieved. Back in the arena, Justin Roberts introduces the Guest Host of WrestleMania XXVII, with the lights and video panels going out one by one until the entrance seems to show a pulsing effect for a few moments until all goes dark again.
A few seconds pass and The Rock’s music hits, which instantly causes the crowd to erupt – especially as he comes out and makes his way to the ring then poses inside it to a huge ovation. Grabbing a microphone – all the while with the crowd continuing with the ovation – he says that after seven long years, finally (three times) The Rock has come back to Anaheim, which means that finally The Rock has come back to Monday Night Raw, which means that finally The Rock has come back home.
Before he gets into detail about that, he says that he has many nicknames – The Great One, The Most Electrifying Man In All Entertainment, and The People’s Champion – but he wants to tell us something important right now, and as Dwayne. He says that he wants to tell us why he is back, and that it is not because of the money, nor is it to promote a movie, but it is because of the fans.
He says that when he left the WWE seven years ago, he dreamed big and the fans all dreamed big with him as they never left his side and he wants to take this moment to say thank you, he loves them, and it is because of them that he is back in the ring, and it is because of them that he gives his word that he is never ever going away – a statement which once again gets a great response.
Simply put, he says The Rock is back and it is because he wanted to do something unprecedented, something that has never been done before – host WrestleMania. He says that he called Vince McMahon and was told that he knows why he was calling, and that there is only one man electrifying enough to host WrestleMania, there is only one man who can captivate the world – and that man is Justin Beiber.
Rock says that he told McMahon that though he likes Beiber, there is only one man capable enough to host WrestleMania, and that is “the Jabroni-beating, pie-eating, trail-blazing, eyebrow-raising, step off the brake, put you foot on the gas, always ready to whoop somebody’s ass, The Rock.”
He says that he is going to WrestleMania and will host it, and at the drop of a dime layeth the Smackdown at WrestleMania, but the question is to who – suggesting the possibility of The Miz, and quantifying the formula of if people run around talking about how awesome they are, it undoubtedly means they completely suck.
Rock says that there is one more man who he wants to see and who he is going to see, and that man… won’t be mentioned straight away as Cole gets an email from the Anonymous Raw General Manager, which he gleefully announces to all.
Cole attempts to go towards the laptop, but The Rock stops him in his tracks by telling him that if he takes one more step towards it then he will get out of the ring and slap the taste so far out of his mouth he will never get it back.
He asks if Cole really thinks that he is going to let him interrupt him live on Raw, or that anyone gives a damn about what the General Manager has to say – Cole starts to answer but is shot down when he yells that it doesn’t matter what he thinks.
Rock tells him to sit at the announce table and stay quiet, telling him “And I Quote: You know your damn role, and you shut your damn mouth!” because if he doesn’t then The Rock will have some pretty cool pictures to put on his Facebook later on.
He says that if Cole doesn’t do what he says, he will get a beautiful picture of him stepping out of the ring, going up to the computer – some of us may know where he’s going with this – shining it up real nice, turning the sum-bitch sideways, and sticking it straight up Cole’s candy ass!
Rock tells him to sit down and says that he looks like a drunk Hobbit. He continues what he was saying before and says that one man he has to see face to face is somebody who he met, somebody who he thought was cool, wished him well, and out of the blue who eventually started talking trash about The Rock.
He says that he doesn’t care about why, but he’s back now – and we might have heard of him as his name is John Cena. Rather quickly, the crowd gets a “Cena sucks” chant going, as he continues and says that the WWE has gone from the powerful “Austin 3:16” to the dominant “Can you smell what The Rock is cooking?” all the way to “You can’t see me!” which he says in a mocking tone.
Rock says that there is no way anybody can miss him with his “bright-ass purple shirt”, before that a bright green shirt, and before that a bright orange shirt, which he says makes him look like he’s running around like a big bowl of fruity pebbles.
He says that he will see Cena at WrestleMania, just as sure he will see Cena and everybody else at WrestleMania, just as sure he will turn WrestleMania into the most epic of all time, and just as sure as Cena keeps coming out looking like he just got shot out of the Barney The Dinosaur’s anus, he guarantees three things.
The Rock guaran-damn-tees that he is the most electrifying man in all of entertainment, that he is going to layeth the smackdown all on their candy asses at the drop of the dime, and most important The Rock and the millions – making the crowd come up with a better response a few times as he keeps saying their repeat of “millions” is still not good enough as they are the backbone of The Rock – and millions of The Rock’s fans go to WrestleMania electrify the world like nobody else can, If you smell what The Rock is cooking.
The Rock poses in the ring before leaving it and walking up to pose once more at the top of the ramp to a great reaction as Raw goes off the air.
WWE posted the following videos on Youtube; the first of The Rock’s return on Raw, and the second of him addressing the fans and encouraging them to follow him online on the Road to WrestleMania: