Raw Fusion: Kiss My Foot

by on 17th May 2011

The 16th May 2011 episode of Monday Night Raw starts with John Cena making his way to the ring and he is about to talk when he is interrupted by Alex Riley walking out with a microphone. Riley tells him to save it and guesses that what he is going to say consists of Hustle, Loyalty, Respect, and how he won’t say “I Quit” at Over The Limit.

 

Riley suggests that Cena watch the following video package of The Miz dominating John Cena, before he introduces the most must-see champion in WWE history, The Miz. Riley talks about how the crowd underestimated The Miz from his start on Tough Enough up to WrestleMania 27, and that he didn’t have what it takes and he should quit, but that they also said that the spurs would make it into the play-offs but we all know how that turned out (and he makes a choking motion).

 

He says that at Over The Limit, The Miz will prove them wrong again as he will never utter the words “I Quit”. John Cena says that Riley is as stupid as he is useless, and things that The Miz would never say are actually statements such as “I’m going to pass on tickets to the Jonas Brothers”, “I don’t think I want to play with My Little Pony any more”, or “I’m The Miz and I have testicles” – the last of which he says is a shame as he’s going to need some for an I Quit match.

 

Cena says that there is no denying what The Miz has done in the WWE and he has already told him that he respects that, but there is a reason that he chose this match. He says that this is because when he looks past the fancy suits and loud-mouth bravado, he can look into his eyes and see fear.

 

He suggests that he won’t be saying “I’m The Miz and I’m Awesome”, but “I’m The Miz and I Quit”. Michael Cole receives an email from the Anonymous Raw General Manager on his iPad which states that as he allowed Cena to choose the match at Over The Limit, as long as The Miz and Riley aren’t involved, then The Miz can choose the match and opponent later on Raw.

 

The Miz says that he doesn’t know what the match stipulation will be, and nor does he know who the opponent will be, but what he does know is that it will be awesome.

 

Next, Kofi Kingston takes on CM Punk (with The New Nexus watching on from the stage) in a match which sees Punk get the victory when he hits the GTS for the 3-count. Afterwards, Punk says that what we just saw was leadership by example, and that it is just step one.

 

He says that he has heard the rumours that The New Nexus isn’t formidable, but from now on it’s “no more Mr. Nice Punk” and we will see the most dominant force that the WWE has ever seen, as he and The New Nexus raise their arms.

 

After a video recaps Kharma’s attack on Eve last week, Kelly Kelly is pitted against Brie Bella (accompanied by Nikki) in a match which sees Kelly get the 3-count with an odd crouching-type pin.

 

Afterwards, The Bella Twins attack Kelly until Kharma’s music hits and she makes her way to the ring. Kharma’s attention is solely on Kelly until one of the Bellas makes the mistake of trying to attack her from behind (the other bails out of the ring), so instead the Bella ends up falling to Kharma’s double-underhook facebuster.

 

Turning her attention to Kelly once more, she picks her up by her chin, flicks her forehead, laughs, and then leaves.

 

After a video promoting “That’s What I Am”, and a video recapping the events of last week involving Rey Mysterio and R-Truth, Mysterio makes his way to the ring and talks about how he knows how it feels to be passed over, but he never lost it like R-Truth did and didn’t blame others for his problems.

 

Mysterio calls out Truth as he wants to handle his business like a man, but Alberto Del Rio’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring instead. Del Rio talks about how Mysterio got beat up last week and says that he is the reason that Del Rio isn’t facing Cena for the WWE Championship.

 

He says that Mysterio doesn’t deserve to be on the same show as him, as he himself is a full-blooded Mexican. He says that the US begged him to come, but Mysterio says that he’s not going to stand there and let Del Rio disrespect his people.

 

Mysterio says that R-Truth may not come down, but he has no problem shutting Del Rio’s mouth right now. The bell rings and a referee is present, so it looks like it has become an official match, one which sees Truth cause a distraction for Del Rio to recover, but ultimately ends with Mysterio getting the victory via a disqualification thanks to Ricardo Rodriguez halting the 619 headed towards Del Rio.

 

Afterwards, Del Rio attacks Mysterio and after he is forced to leave, R-Truth enters the ring and gives Mysterio a beat-down of his own, before he asks Mysterio who he thinks he is challenging him, as he says that nobody challenges The Truth, he makes the challenges – just like he showed him tonight, and on Sunday, he is “going to get got”, as Truth continues the beat-down once again before leaving.

 

Now, it’s time for the contract signing for the match between Michael Cole and Jerry “The King” Lawler at Over The Limit, with the stipulation that if Cole wins, Lawler will give him the Hall Of Fame ring and induct him into the WWE Hall Of Fame personally.

 

Both parties sign the contract, but Cole tells Lawler that he should have read the small print as the match is a “Kiss My Foot” match. He then rolls footage of “Good Ol’ J.R” Jim Ross being forced to kiss his feet, followed by footage of the Kiss My Foot match between Bret “The Hitman” Hart and Jerry Lawler at King Of The Ring 1995, which Hart won.

 

Lawler tells Cole that he is no Bret Hart, or even a Jack Swagger. He says that he doesn’t like Swagger, but he respects what he can do in the ring, and muses that Cole should be congratulated for taking a former World Heavyweight Champion and making him into a lowly sidekick.

 

Cole tells him that nobody even remembers Swagger becoming the World Heavyweight Champion, and says that some people say that Swagger being his sidekick was the best thing that happened to Swagger, and Swagger’s attendance at WrestleMania was because of Cole.

 

Swagger clearly isn’t happy about what Cole is saying, and walks into Cole as if to remind him that he is right there. Swagger ends up leaving and ignoring Cole’s apologies, so when Cole turns his attention back to Lawler, he tries to back out but is informed that it’s too late for that, before Lawler says that on Sunday he is going to stick his foot in Cole’s mouth and close it.

 

Next up, Kane and The Big Show go against David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty of The New Nexus in a tag team match which sees Punk’s interference behind the back of the referee contribute to give The New Nexus the victory.

 

After a WWE Rewind video recapping the events of the match between John Cena and Alex Riley last week, The Miz makes his way out onto the stage and announces that Cena’s match is No Holds Barred, and he then demands that Cena get out there.

 

Cena warily starts walking down the ramp when Jack Swagger attacks Cena from behind and The Miz tells Cena that Swagger is his opponent. The match ends with Cena getting the victory when he forces Swagger to tap out to the STF.

 

Afterwards, The Miz says that it is impressive, but he wants Cena to cherish the feeling of victory, as on Sunday he will be feeling emptiness, regret, and disappointment. He says that there are so many ways to make a human being say “I Quit”, as he then lists some as he walks down to the ring and then orders Riley to find something useful.

 

Riley discovers a steel pipe which he hands to The Miz, but The Miz says it’s obvious and he’s not going to use it, as there are a million ways to beat Cena that Cena hasn’t even though about but he already has, as The Miz is more conniving, intelligent, and ruthless than anyone Cena has ever faced in his entire life.

 

The Miz says that he has found a way that Cena has never seen before and he guarantees to everyone that after their match at over the limit, he will be declared the WWE Champion. He says that he won’t use the pipe on Sunday, but he doesn’t have any objections to using it right then, and he indeed does so.

 

Cena manages to turn the tables and send The Miz and Riley bailing out of the ring, he tells them that at Over The Limit, The Miz will say “I Quit”.

 

John Cena and The Miz glare at each other from their respective positions of the ring and ramp as Raw goes off the air.

About the Author:

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Discovering WCW Monday Nitro in the 1990s, he has been hooked on wrestling ever since, later going on to also discover WWF (now WWE), ECW and numerous independent promotions.

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