Raw Fusion: We Will Rock You

by on 16th March 2012

The 12th March 2012 episode of Monday Night Raw starts with Jerry “The King” Lawler standing in the ring and announcing that this episode will be a first, as it will be the first ever “Rock & Rap Concert” on Raw.

He says that there have been some heated arguments between John Cena and The Rock, but both men will have their chance to express their own words in their own way. First to do so is John Cena, as he makes his way to the ring to his “Basic Thuganomics” theme from a number of years ago, dressed like he was at the time.

John Cena does his rap and leaves, and we are informed that The Rock’s Concert will be later on in this episode of Raw. After hyping the face-to-face interaction between The Undertaker and Shawn Michaels later on, Vickie Guerrero makes her way out onto the stage and states that Daylight Savings should be illegal, as she says that the whole world would be deprived of one hour of “this man”, who is revealed to be Dolph Ziggler.

Dolph Ziggler (accompanied by Vickie Guerrero) takes on Sheamus in a match which sees Josh Mathews interview Daniel Bryan and AJ – who are watching the match from a sky-box – about Bryan telling AJ to shut up last week on SmackDown! (click here for our SmackDown! report).

Bryan denies doing anything to upset AJ, saying how dare anyone to judge their relationship, before asking AJ if he was rude to her, to which AJ says that he wasn’t. Mathews tries to get his thoughts on Sheamus, but Bryan says that the interview is over, and says that AJ loves him, and that the feeling is mutual.

The match sees Sheamus get the victory, when he hits Ziggler with the Brogue Kick for the 3-count.

After a video recapping the match last week between Jack Swagger and Santino Marella in which Marella won the United States Championship, John Laurinaitis joins commentary for what is supposed to be a Mixed Tag Team match between the team of Santino Marella and Aksana and the team of David Otunga and somebody who never gets revealed.

Marella is announced as the captain of Teddy Long’s team for the match at WrestleMania XXVIII (28) which will determine who will be declared the General Manager of both Raw and SmackDown!, and Otunga is announced as the captain of John Laurinaitis’ team for the same match.

John Laurinaitis changes the Mixed Tag Team match to be a Handicap match instead, pitting David Otunga and Mark Henry against Santino Marella. Teddy Long makes his way down during the match, and ends up pushing Laurinaitis over, but the match sees Mark Henry get the victory for his team, when he hits Marella with the World’s Strongest Slam for the 3-count.

Afterwards, Henry holds Marella while Otunga slaps him in the face repeatedly, until Kofi Kingston runs down to the ring to even things up. It is to no avail however, as Kingston ends up being taken out by a World’s Strongest Slam from Mark Henry.

R-Truth runs down to the ring next, but he too is taken out by Henry and Otunga, as John Laurinaitis enters the ring and announces that Mark Henry is the newest member of Team John Laurinaitis.

After a video hyping The Miz’s appearance on “Psych”, an interaction between Zack Ryder and Eve Torres in which Eve states that they are “Friends with Benefits”, and an interaction between Eve Torres and Beth Phoenix that sees Eve say that she would mind Beth having Ryder wrapped around her finger, an interaction between The Miz, John Laurinaitis, and “Psych” star James Roday, sees Laurinaitis ask Roday to be a Guest Ring Announcer, and also tells The Miz that if he wins his match, then he will be on Team John Laurinaitis.

Back in the arena, Jinder Mahal goes against “Funkasaurus” Brodus Clay (accompanied by Naomi and Cameron) in a match which sees Clay get the victory, when he hits Mahal with a jumping body splash for the 3-count.

Next, “Heart Break Kid” Shawn Michaels makes his way to the ring and talks about informing an unaware Triple H last week that he will be the Special Guest Referee in his Hell In A Cell match against The Undertaker at WrestleMania XXVIII (28).

He says that he also got told some information that he wasn’t aware of too, as he then rolls footage from last week of Triple H talking about people talking behind Michaels’ back and calling him a loser. Michaels says that he has walked around the WWE locker room over the past few weeks and says that nobody has walked up to him and called him a loser, a failure, or implied that he couldn’t get the job done.

Michaels says that there has been one person absent for the past couple of weeks, but says that thankfully he is here, so they can get this out of the way. He calls out The Undertaker, who obliges, as his music and entrance hits, and he makes his way to the ring.

He talks about how they have always had respect for each other, but says that he always thought that The Undertaker would have the guts to say things to his face instead of saying it behind his back.

The Undertaker asks what it is that Shawn Michaels wants him to say, whether it is that he is a failure, a loser, or that he couldn’t get the job done. He says that he thinks that Michaels needs to stop and think – is he repeating The Undertaker’s words, or is he repeating the words chosen for The Undertaker, by Michaels’ good friend Triple H.

He says that whatever the case may be, Michaels needs to let all of his insecurities… at this point Shawn Michaels interrupts, saying that The Undertaker practically begged for this match and still seems to need something to prove even at nineteen wins to zero.

Michaels says that The Undertaker is still in search of validation, which they both know is because last year, Triple H beat him to an inch of his life. He says that this is why he looked at Triple H and told him that he knows who is going to win.

The Undertaker says that he thinks that Michaels should know that whatever happens at WrestleMania, whether he wins or loses, he is prepared to accept the outcome. What he is not prepared to accept however, is Michaels sticking his ego into it.

He says that the matches between the two of them, as well as Triple H’s match with him last year has all been destiny. The Undertaker says that on 21st April (obviously meaning the 1st) at WrestleMania will be the end of an era.

The Undertaker says that what can’t happen is for the outcome – win or lose – to not be “pure”. He says that if the outcome isn’t “pure”, then he promises that there will be hell to pay.

Michaels says that The Undertaker calls all of this destiny, but he calls it irony, as the guy whose career that The Undertaker ended, could be the guy who counts The Undertaker’s shoulders to the mat.

He says that it’s ironic that he is the guy who could turn The Undertaker into a loser and failure, and show that he couldn’t get it done. He also says that it is ironic that Michaels could still be the guy who ends the streak.

The Undertaker says that he will beat Triple H in the Hell In A Cell match, that the streak will continue, and that he will officially end an era. He says that if Michaels doesn’t do the right thing, then he will official end him.

Shawn Michaels backs away, into a position where he could possibly hit Sweet Chin Music from, but he then approaches The Undertaker instead, and pats him on the arm before leaving. Triple H then makes his way out onto the stage and taunts The Undertaker with a DX crotch-chop, before leaving again.

Now, James Roday is introduced as the Special Guest Ring Announcer as The Miz takes on CM Punk in a match which sees Punk get the victory, when he forces The Miz to tap out to the Anaconda Vise.

Chris Jericho was shown watching the match on a monitor backstage, and afterwards he appears on the titantron and addresses CM Punk. He congratulates Punk but says that he sees straight through him and sees a fraud.

He says that he isn’t talking about calling himself “Best In The World”, but instead Punk as a person, as he says that he did some research and found a deep, dirty and dark secret about him. Jericho says that Punk has been straight-edge since coming to the WWE but hasn’t told anyone why.

Jericho says that he wants to tell all the “wannabes” why, and says that CM Punk is straight-edge because Punk’s father is an alcoholic, one who let him down every step of the way growing up, so it terrifies Punk as he doesn’t want to end up like him.

He says that it is inevitable however, as alcohol is in Punk’s blood and genes, and is part of who he is. Jericho says that it is part of who Punk is, and it tortures him, and that he has built a façade of a sarcastic anti-hero with no cares in the world, but he has found something that Punk cares about and gives him nightmares.

Chris Jericho suggests that it is ironic that the very alcohol CM Punk craves, is that which ruined his childhood, and he says that the nightmares Punk must have almost makes him feel sorry for him. He asks if that is why Punk has all of his tattoos, if the pain of wanting a drink was so bad that it was worth the pain of a tattoo needle to take it out of his mind.

He says that it doesn’t matter, as Punk is going to drink eventually, and that Jericho is the one who is going to make him drink. Jericho says that he is going to take Punk’s title at WrestleMania, he will take away his bravado and claims of being “Best In The World”, and leave him a broken man.

Jericho says that CM Punk will hit the bottom and that when he does, he is going to embrace his destiny and take a drink. He says that it is going to taste so good that Punk is going to drink another one, and another one, and another one.

He says that on the 1st April, he is going to recognised for who he is, the Undisputed Best In The World and new WWE Champion, while Punk will be recognised for who he is and who his father was, a “pathetic damn drunk”. An upset-looking Punk then leaves the ring, without saying anything.

After hyping that you have a lawyer in David Otunga if you have a Twitter account, and a video recapping the events over the past couple of weeks between Kane and Randy Orton, Randy Orton is pitted against Jack Swagger (accompanied by Vickie Guerrero) in a match which sees Orton get the victory, when he hits Swagger with an RKO for the 3-count.

Afterwards, Kane’s ring pyro goes off and the lighting goes red, when Orton starts to walk towards a turnbuckle. Orton looks around for Kane, excepting to see him somewhere, but Kane does not make an appearance.

Next up, it’s time for The Rock’s Concert, but before that takes place, The Rock makes his way to the ring and talks about John Cena’s rap earlier on. He compares Cena to what a child of Vanilla Ice and a Teletubbie would look like.

The Rock’s Concert involves insults of Cena and Cena’s mother, was well as mentions of Cena and Eve Torres, as well as the fact that Cena has a wife, and insulting grown-up men who are Cena fans.

The Rock – somewhat unsynchronised – ends the concert with the crowd, with both singing to a Cena-insulting version of Queen’s “We Will Rock You” as Raw goes off the air.

About the Author:

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Discovering WCW Monday Nitro in the 1990s, he has been hooked on wrestling ever since, later going on to also discover WWF (now WWE), ECW and numerous independent promotions.

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