Raw Fusion: The Manchurian Candidate
The 14th May 2012 episode of Monday Night Raw starts with an interaction involving Triple H and John Laurinaitis, in which Triple H says that what he has to say will be said in front of the world in a few moments, as well as wishing Laurinaitis luck against John Cena on Sunday at Over The Limit, followed by a video recapping Brock Lesnar’s attack on Triple H and Triple H making his way to the ring.
Triple H says that it is not the physical aspect that bothers him, but rather that he is offended by Brock Lesnar saying that he came back to bring legitimacy to the WWE, and he sarcastically remarks that in his match against The Undertaker at WrestleMania, all he could think was “geez, I wish someone could come along and make this legitimate”.
He says that Lesnar’s arrogance and stupidity offends him and every single person who has ever walked down the aisle and stepped into the ring, and it also offends Triple H as a fan. Triple H admits that he was slightly embarrassed – not because he got taken down from behind by an “ass-kicker”, but because he bought into Lesnar’s crap and hype, just like he did ten years ago.
Triple H says that Lesnar quit the WWE when it became too hard ten years ago and went to UFC, and when that got hard he came back to the WWE, but that as it once again became too hard as he couldn’t beat John Cena, he once again quit the WWE, instead of digging inside himself to drag out the extra he needed to fight in each case.
Brock Lesnar’s music hits, and Paul Heyman makes his way to the ring accompanied by another man holding an envelope. Heyman says that he understands that this is “this big spin”, damage control, and what every promoter has said over the years when they lost their biggest star.
He says that Triple H lost his biggest star, and that now he thinks that he is a business man, but that as a business man, Triple H truly screwed up, as this is what is what is called an “open-and-shut case”.
Heyman says that Brock Lesnar entered an oral and binding agreement with John Laurinaitis in front of millions of witnesses on live TV, and Triple H arrogantly, defiantly, and illegally ripped the contract up, which is breach of contract.
What he doesn’t understand, is that Triple H brings a fighter into an entertainment company but didn’t like it when Lesnar wanted to fight. Heyman says that Triple H doesn’t understand the seriousness of the situation, but that he does get “this”, with the man accompanying Heyman then handing him the contents of the envelope, with Heyman telling Triple H to consider himself “served”.
Paul Heyman says that it is a lawsuit, as Brock Lesnar is suing the WWE for the millions of dollars that he is owed, and that on a professional basis, Lesnar is disappointed in the way that things turned out, but that on a personal basis, Lesnar expected so much better – a fight instead of a snivelling, corporate sycophant, who hasn’t lived up to his hype in years.
He continues by saying that he is glad that Lesnar broke Triple H’s arm, causing Triple H to grab Heyman’s face in anger and push him against the ropes, before then letting go and starting to leave, but not before Triple H says to tell Lesnar that he will be getting everything he deserves.
Heyman calls for Triple H to halt, as he says that Triple H just screwed up again – he put his hands on him, so that is lawsuit number two, and Heyman will see Triple H in court.
After a video recapping the match between Lord Tensai and CM Punk last week, as well as the aftermath involving Daniel Bryan too, CM Punk and Santino Marella take on Daniel Bryan and Cody Rhodes in a tag team match which sees Punk get the victory for his team, when Punk hits Rhodes with the GTS for the 3-count.
Next, Layla watches from the stage as Beth Phoenix is pitted against Alicia Fox in a match which sees Beth get the victory, when she hits Alicia with the Glam Slam for the 3-count. Afterwards, Beth looks to send a message by attacking Alicia further, but Layla hits the ring to intervene, hitting Beth with a facebuster that causes Beth to quickly bail out of the ring after she is hit with it.
After a video recapping the events involving The Big Show, John Laurinaitis, and Eve Torres on last week’s Monday Night Raw and Friday Night SmackDown! (click here for our SmackDown! report), John Laurinaitis and David Otunga join ringside as The Big Show goes against Kane in a match which sees Kane get the victory, when Kane takes advantage of the distraction provided by Laurinaitis demanding an apology from Show, and hits Show with a chokeslam for the 3-count.
Afterwards, Laurinaitis enters the ring with Otunga, and once again demands an apology, saying that if it isn’t good enough, then he is going to fire him. The Big Show apologises, but John Laurinaitis makes him repeat it so that the people in the “cheap seats” can hear.
Laurinaitis acknowledges the apology, but then demands that Show get on his knees and beg him not to fire him, but the crowd implore Show not to get on his knees, every time Show shows any sign of sinking to his knees.
Show asks Laurinaitis not to make him get onto his knees, and he apologises, to which Laurinaitis says he will reconsider as he then starts to leave with Otunga. As Laurinaitis reaches the stage however, he tells Show that he has already reconsidered it, and starts to talk as if he is about to fire Show.
The Big Show yells for John Laurinaitis to wait, and finally sinks to his knees, then apologising with tears flowing for making fun of Laurinaitis’ voice and says that he will never do it again. Unfortunately for Show however, Laurinaitis continues from where he left off, wishing him luck in his future endeavours and informing him that he is fired.
Next, “Funkasaurus” Brodus Clay (accompanied by Cameron and Naomi), Kofi Kingston, and R-Truth take on The Miz, Jack Swagger, and Dolph Ziggler (accompanied by Vickie Guerrero) in a six-man tag team match which sees Clay get the victory for his team, when Kingston hits The Miz with Trouble In Paradise and Clay follows it up with the jumping body splash for the 3-count.
After an interaction involving AJ and CM Punk, in which AJ wishes him luck in his match against Daniel Bryan on Sunday at Over The Limit and Punk says that he doesn’t want to get involved in the drama between her and Bryan, Sheamus joins commentary as Chris Jericho is pitted against Randy Orton in a match which sees Jericho throw Orton into Sheamus, and also sees Jericho get the victory as a result of a disqualification, when Sheamus retaliates by pulling Jericho back out of the ring and hitting him with a clothesline.
Afterwards, an argument erupts between Randy Orton and Sheamus, with both men agreeing to get into the ring right now to settle it, but they are instead separated by referees.
After the announcers inform us that Eve Torres has made a match between Randy Orton and Sheamus to take place on the upcoming episode of SmackDown!, John Laurinaitis makes his way to the ring and says that he is sorry if John Cena is anyone’s favourite Superstar, as that makes each and every one of them a loser.
Laurinaitis says that he is better than The Rock and Brock Lesnar combined, and that when he beats Cena at Over The Limit, he will prove that each and every one of the crowd are losers. He says that being a loser is not such a bad thing however, as if there weren’t losers like them, there wouldn’t be winners like him.
He is interrupted from saying anything further, as John Cena’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring. John Cena tells John Laurinaitis that desperation is a stinky cologne, and comments that he looks like The Manchurian Candidate.
Cena says that before firing The Big Show John Laurinaitis was a scum bag, and after doing so, he’s become the undisputed “King of Douchebaggery”, yet with the gall to call himself a winner. He points out that Laurinaitis’ team won at WrestleMania, but that Laurinaitis himself did nothing, however as he is in a generous mood, he will give Laurinaitis that one.
As for wanting CM Punk removed as the WWE Champion, that one didn’t work out so well as Punk is still the champion. For the crowning achievement of bring in Brock Lesnar to defeat him at Extreme Rules, Lesnar lost and quit, which Cena says makes Laurinaitis one for four, which doesn’t make him a winner, but instead makes him a loser.
Cena then proceeds to call Laurinaitis a loser, especially when he attempts to say something, but he says that it is perfectly fine because at Over The Limit, Laurinaitis will be a loser. He says that in John Laurinaitis’ backstabbing rise to power, he managed to step on every single WWE Superstar.
He says that on this episode of Raw, John Laurinaitis stepped on every member of the WWE Universe, and that as a result, he needs to change “People Power” to “Person Power”, because through all of this, there is only one person who matters to Laurinaitis – himself.
John Cena says that if Laurinaitis doesn’t believe him, he asks the crowd how many of them want to beat Laurinaitis so bad that he squeals, to which many fans cheer to the affirmative. He says that it is a response like that, and an encore response of “Yes! Yes! Yes” that Laurinaitis has no concept of reality.
He says that he cannot think of a better place than there in the “steel city” to give John Laurinaitis a wake-up call, as he says that it is known for two things. The first being the “steel curtain”, a group of men known for decimating their opponents, which Cena says that he will do to Laurinaitis at Over The Limit.
Cena says that an obvious second is the Pittsburgh Penguins, causing Laurinaitis to interrupt and say that he was going to refer to them later on in his promo, and then causing Cena to keep calling him a loser again, and then asking him how he was going to reference them, with Laurinaitis saying that he was going to refer to them as losers.
As for Cena’s reference, he takes a hockey puck out of his pocket and tells John Laurinaitis to go “puck” himself. Laurinaitis calls those tough words, but says that he is “Big Johnny”, is taller and better looking than Cena, and as the General Manager of Raw and SmackDown! and can do what he wants in any match.
He is interrupted from continuing by the appearance of Eve Torres, who hands him a letter, one that is promptly snatched from his hands by Cena, ripping it partly in the process. Cena says that it is from the WWE Board Of Directors and must be some big business.
John Cena reads it out and it states that the WWE Universe should know exactly what they are getting in John Laurinaitis’ match against John Cena at Over The Limit, so it will be a one-on-one match, there will be no Special Guest Referee, nobody is allowed at ringside, and the only way to win is by pinfall or submission.
He continues by saying that any Superstar who interferes in the match will be immediately terminated, and then advises Laurinaitis not to bother reading the top half as he should be concerned about the bottom line, because should Laurinaitis lose the match to Cena, Laurinaitis will be officially terminated.
Cena points out that Laurinaitis had a huge announcement that was supposed to change everyone’s lives, so asks what it was, only for Laurinaitis to slap him and then leave.
John Cena watches the departing John Laurinaitis, as Raw goes off the air.