SD Fusion: Accidentally On Purpose
The 25th May 2012 episode of Friday Night SmackDown! starts with a video recapping the events of Over The Limit (click here for our Over The Limit report) and Monday Night Raw involving John Cena, John Laurinaitis, and The Big Show (click here for our Raw report), followed by Eve Torres making her way to the ring.
Eve reiterates that Laurinaitis is still the General Manager of Raw and SmackDown!, and that he pinned John Cena at Over The Limit to cement his physical superiority, but she says that due to an overseas WWE business trip, he is not present at SmackDown! and has left her in charge.
She says that two things will happen on this episode, the first being that Sheamus will issue an apology for bumping into Laurinaitis on Raw, and the second is that she is going to announce his opponent for No Way Out.
Alberto Del Rio’s music hits to interrupt her from talking further, as he makes his way to the ring and says that if she is looking for an opponent for Sheamus at No Way Out, there is nobody better than him, and he says that what happened to him in his quest for the title was horrible, and he complements her before saying that she should ask herself if she wants to make Laurinaitis proud – and the answer is “Si”.
She says that Del Rio makes a compelling case, and starts to say that there is nobody more deserving, only to be interrupted once again – this time by Randy Orton’s music hitting and him making his way to the ring too.
Orton introduces himself as he knows that Eve is new the job, and he suggests that the crowd help her in her decision-making process, then asking the crowd if they want to see Orton or Del Rio, to which the crowd cheer for Orton.
He says that in the name of “People Power”, he thinks that she has her answer, but another interruption happens, this time by Kane. Kane says that neither Del Rio nor Orton have the qualifications that he does, and that Sheamus – the pasty white Irish ghost as Kane refers to him – should face the “Devil’s Favourite Demon”, and in case further convincing is needed, this episode of SmackDown! is episode number 666.
Eve says that there is only one way to settle this, and that the Superstar who will face Sheamus for the World Heavyweight Championship at No Way Out will be the winner of the Triple Threat match between Kane, Randy Orton, and Alberto Del Rio later on in the episode.
After photos recapping Christian’s return, Battle Royal win, and Intercontinental Championship win at Over The Limit, Christian takes on Hunico (accompanied by Camacho) in a match which sees Christian get the victory, when he hits Hunico with the Killswitch, and follows it up a the frog splash for the 3-count.
Afterwards, Cody Rhodes’ music hits and he makes his way out onto the stage, where he says that he spent over eight months to restore the Intercontinental Championship to the pinnacle of its prominence, but in one night Christian ruined it, and that nobody cares about the title, because nobody cares about Christian.
He says that it won’t take him as long to rectify this, because when he gets the rematch that he is entitled to, it will only take three seconds.
After a video recapping an interaction involving The Usos, Titus O’Neil, and Darren Young, The Usos are pitted against Titus O’Neil and Darren Young in a tag team match which sees O’Neil get the victory for his team, when he and Young hit one of The Usos with a backbreaker and diving elbow drop combination for the 3-count.
Next up, Ryback goes against Brian Edwards and Kevin Bendl in a two-on-one handicap match which sees Ryback get the victory, when he hits a double muscle-buster to pin them both for the 3-count.
Now, Santino Marella takes on Ricardo Rodriguez in a match which sees Marella get the victory, when he hits Rodriguez with The Cobra for the 3-count.
Next, Sheamus makes his way to the ring and says that he has been sent out to apologise to John Laurinaitis. He says that it is funny to him, because in his opinion, when an accident happens, you shouldn’t have to apologise for it.
He says that everyone saw the footage and saw that it was an accident, but that some people think that he did it on purpose, in which case he says that accidentally on purpose. As for his apology, Sheamus says that he would like to apologise… for John Laurinaitis being a massive arse.
Sheamus says that while he is talking about Laurinaitis’ arse, if you look hard enough, you will find Eve Torres and David Otunga so far up there, they would be able to tell you what he had for breakfast.
While he is on the subject, he would also like to apologise for everyone else who kisses Laurinaitis’ arse, including a seven-foot giant arse-kisser. He says that for his title match at No Way Out, if he had his way, his opponent would be Randy Orton.
An “Excuse Me!” interrupts anything more that he may have said, as Vickie Guerrero tells him that her good friend Eve has informed her that Sheamus will be facing somebody right now – that person being Jack Swagger.
The match sees Sheamus get the victory, when he counters Swagger’s gut-wrench powerbomb attempt, and then hits Swagger with the Brogue Kick for the 3-count.
After a video recapping the events of last week involving Yoshi Tatsu and Damien Sandow, Yoshi Tatsu is set to be pitted against Damien Sandow, but before the match takes place, Sandow has something to say once again.
Sandow says that last week he was faced with another conundrum – to either subject the unwashed masses of the WWE Universe to a match with an unworthy opponent, which would only serve to further propel them into self-imposed ignorance, or to do the honourable thing and abstain from such a mockery.
However, he says that he chose to depart without incident when he was accosted verbally by the same ignoramus who stands before him again right now, but as Tatsu didn’t get the message, he will once again impart his message upon him physically.
This time, the match does officially happen, and it sees Sandow get the victory, when he hits Tatsu with a neckbreaker for the 3-count.
Next up, The Big Show makes his way to the ring, where he talks about how he loves what he does, and how he didn’t know what to do when he lost his dream job. He says that he felt betrayed by all of his so-called friends and the fans, as not one of them came to his defence, but after a “you sold out” chant, he denies that he sold out.
He says that he realised at that moment that he had no friends and that he is alone in this world, but then got the call and made a deal, not caring where the lifeline came from, so he helped Laurinaitis defeat Cena, and he got a new contract, and a big fat bonus.
Show says that when he threw John Laurinaitis to John Cena, he knew exactly what was going to happen next, and that with one punch, he knocked Cena out cold, and then watched Laurinaitis pin Cena for the 3-count.
He says that at No Way Out he is going to do it again, as he understands now that the fans never really cared about him, and now he damn sure doesn’t care about them.
As Show starts to leave, Kane’s pyro and entrance hits, as he makes his way to the ring for the upcoming Triple Threat match, and both men look at each other as they pass, but continue on their way, with Kane then being attacked with a chair by Daniel Bryan in the ring.
Kane, Alberto Del Rio, and Randy Orton go against each other to determine the number one contender to face Sheamus at No Way Out, and the match sees Del Rio get the victory, when Orton takes advantage of Bryan distracting Kane again, by hitting Kane with an RKO, but Del Rio interrupts the pin and covers Kane himself to get the 3-count.
Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez celebrate on the stage, until Del Rio is blind-sided by Sheamus, who says that he can’t wait to kick off Del Rio’s head at No Way Out.
Sheamus stands over the downed Del Rio, as SmackDown! goes off the air.