Raw Fusion: Girls Just Want To Have Fun
The 18th June 2012 episode of Monday Night Raw starts with Mick Foley making his way to the ring and talking about the 1000th episode of Raw and how the WWE Board Of Directors are reaching out to former General Managers on an interim basis until they figure out what to do about a permanent GM, and that as a former Commissioner of the WWE, he will be hosting this week’s episodes of Raw and SmackDown!.
He says that he has made a tag team match between the team of Daniel Bryan and Kane and the team of Sheamus and CM Punk, but says that unfortunately although John Laurinaitis was fired at No Way Out (click here for our No Way Out report), he has been given the opportunity to make a farewell address, and Foley then introduces Laurinaitis.
Laurinaitis makes his way to the ring, where the crowd chant “you got fired” and boo him, but he calls them rude and says that he will make his farewell address later. Before he was fired, he says that he made the main event of this episode of Raw, which is a 3-on-1 handicap match involving David Otunga, The Big Show, and himself against John Cena.
Next, Sheamus and CM Punk take on Daniel Bryan and Kane in a tag team match which sees Sheamus get the victory for his team, when Punk hits Bryan with the GTS and Sheamus follows it up with the Brogue Kick for the 3-count, thanks to Kane being distracted by AJ skipping out, around the ring, and leaving again wearing a Kane-inspired outfit including mask.
After an interaction involving Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, and Vickie Guerrero in which a match is made between Ziggler and Swagger to decide who deserves Vickie’s admiration, respect, and affection, and an interaction involving The Big Show, David Otunga, and The Big Show, Vickie Guerrero watches on from ringside as Dolph Ziggler is pitted against Jack Swagger.
The match sees Ziggler get the victory, when he hits Swagger with the Zig-Zag for the 3-count. Afterwards, Vickie enters the ring to congratulate Ziggler on winning, and kisses him on the cheek before then progressing to a lip-lock with him.
After a video recapping Triple H’s challenge at No Way Out for Brock Lesnar to face him at SummerSlam, and a video recapping the birth of “Mr. Socko” and Stone Cold Steve Austin’s attack on Vince McMahon in the hospital, from the 5th October 1998 episode of Raw, Brock Lesnar’s music hits and Paul Heyman makes his way to the ring.
Paul Heyman says that Brock Lesnar will not drop his lawsuit against the WWE, he himself will not drop his lawsuit against Triple H, and Brock Lesnar will not fight Triple H at SummerSlam. Heyman then starts to leave the ring, apparently having said everything that he needed to, but Triple H’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring.
Triple H says that Lesnar will face him at SummerSlam, so the only thing he wants to hear is Lesnar saying that he will step up and be a man. He says that he knows this because he has the power to give Lesnar what he wants and feed his ego, showing an image on the titantron of Lesnar’s face and the SummerSlam logo.
Heyman claims that Lesnar has no ego, which Triple H rebuts by pointing out that Lesnar wanted Raw to be called “Monday Night Raw Starring Brock Lesnar”. Triple H says that Brock Lesnar will do this as because if he doesn’t, he will go down as the guy who is scared of Triple H.
Paul Heyman asks Triple H to stop pretending to be a wrestler and the ass-kicker he used to be, and after asking if Triple H is getting angry and is going to hit him, Heyman says that Triple H is getting to be more and more like Vince McMahon as every day goes by, and that just like he knew how to push McMahon’s buttons, he knows just how to do so to Triple H too.
He invites Triple H to hit him, because if he even thinks about it, he and Lesnar are going to own the WWE, and that in Lesnar and Heyman’s WWE, they have nothing for Triple H – but he does have something for Stephanie.
This pushes one of Triple H’s buttons, causing him to grab Heyman by the throat and look as if he may hit him, but Heyman says that Triple H isn’t going to hit him, as Triple H releases his grip. Heyman says that he knew that Triple H wouldn’t hit him, because he can out-think Triple H every single time and knows everything Triple H is going to do long before he does it.
Heyman sees everything that Triple H is going to do from a mile away, before then being knocked down by a right hand from Triple H. Triple H asks him if he saw that coming, and tells Heyman to tell Lesnar that he will see him at SummerSlam – unless Lesnar is afraid that the same thing will happen to him.
Next up, Alberto Del Rio goes against Santino Marella in a match which sees Del Rio get the victory, when he applies the cross-armbreaker to Marella, forcing him to tap out. Afterwards, Ricardo Rodriguez sends a message of his own by hitting Marella with a single arm takedown to the same arm that Del Rio applied the cross-armbreaker to.
After a video recapping Cindi Lauper in the WWE a number of years ago, Layla introduces Cindi Lauper and Wendi Richter, where Cindi says that it has been a long time and that it is great to see her girl Wendi.
Wendy says that it feels just like yesterday that Cindi was her manager at WrestleMania, but she is interrupted from saying anything further by Heath Slater’s music hitting and him making his way to the ring, as he calls what is happening in the ring a train-wreck.
Slater tells all three women to leave the ring so that the whole world can witness his first single, as he then “sings” about being a one-man band – until being interrupted by “Rowdy” Roddy Piper’s music, with Piper then making his way to the ring, much to the approval of the crowd (despite the crowd not approving of Cindi and Wendy when they came out).
Piper tells a story about hitting Captain Lou Albano with a gold record, and then presents a gold record to Cindi on behalf of himself, Albano, and the WWE Universe, but Slater decides that he wants to resume his “singing”.
Piper puts a stop to that by poking Slater in the eye, and Cindi follows it up by hitting Slater with the gold record.
Now, Darren Young and Titus O’Neil (accompanied by AW) take on Primo and Epico (accompanied by Rosa Mendes) in a tag team match which sees Primo and Epico get the victory, when AW discourages Young and O’Neil from re-entering the ring, resulting in a count-out.
After hyping that Chris Jericho will return to Raw next week, and a video hyping the 1000th episode of Raw as well as its move to three hours, we see that John Laurinaitis is in the ring. He talks about how there will be no more “People Power” with him gone, and how he is going to give the crowd what they deserve but may not want to see – the biggest beat-down of John Cena ever.
Laurinaitis introduces his partners for the upcoming match, David Otunga and The Big Show, and Teddy Long joins commentary for the upcoming match.
Before the match takes place, The Big Show says that it took six men to defeat him at No Way Out, and that because of that John Laurinaitis was fired. He thanks Laurinaitis for his iron-clad contract, bonus, and for letting him be himself.
He points out however that he is not beholden to anyone, not even Laurinaitis, and he says that he has already proved that he can beat Cena, so he is off to bigger and better things and sees no reason for him to compete in this match, as he tells Laurinaitis and Otunga that they are on their and he then leaves.
John Laurinaitis and David Otunga are pitted against John Cena in a match which sees Laurinaitis avoiding tag attempts by Otunga for most of the match until Otunga has the upper-hand, but which sees Cena get the victory, when Otunga avoids the tag attempt by Laurinaitis and leaves him to Cena, allowing Cena to hit Laurinaitis with the Attitude Adjustment – three times—and follow it up with the STF, forcing Laurinaitis to tap out.
John Cena celebrates in the ring while taunting Laurinaitis who is downed on the outside, as Raw goes off the air.