WWE RAW Report: July 21st 2008

by Chris Gorst on 23rd July 2008

I apologise in advance, I was planning on writing this as RAW was going on live, but due to unforeseen circumstances, I was unable to see all of RAW so I recorded it and finally got around to viewing it. Personally, there are parts I would have been glad to have recorded if I wasn’t reviewing it, but anyhow, on with the report. As with last week, I will not be doing any play by play for matches, if you want that, I am sure there is a link on the front page which will take you to the results. So, without further ado, here we go.

– Batista is out. He planned on coming out as the new champion but because of Kane, that isn’t happening. Tonight, since Shane McMahon and Stephanie McMahon are not here, he is putting himself in charge. And he’s making a match: Punk defending against Batista. If Kane has a problem, he should find him before he finds Kane. JBL is on the Titantron. He says Batista is in charge of nothing. He lost last night and he doesn’t care who ran down and interfered. JBL is special. He walked out of the NYC victorious, so he is the entitled to the next world title opportunity. Batista tells him to come out so they can discuss this. JBL doesn’t answer to Batista; he is the boss and he is in charge. His body doesn’t feel like a world title match tonight, but Batista won’t get one either. Tonight, JBL finishes off Cena. JBL tells Batista to go and find Kane if he wants a match so badly.
CM Punk is here! Punk says this is the law of the jungle, and becomes he is champ, that makes him king. He doesn’t have to listen to JBL. Punk says Kane screwed stuff up for him too because he wants to prove that he can beat Batista. So instead of talking about it, let’s do it until we get it right. The title match is on! JBL says he is in charge. Batista says to shut him up, and the sound goes off. Batista says we’re on. We go to break.
– OK, this took about 5 minutes too long. I am honestly wondering how people can say JBL is good at anything as I thought the mic work from him was awful. Him continuing his rant while there was no volume coming from him was probably the best thing of the segment, but we once again get CM Punk winning the world biggest idiot award and Batista continuing using his infinite title shots cheat code, that has to be the only way he is forever in the title picture.

– Lance Cade defeated Paul London by pinfall after a Sitout Spinebuster
– Another Paul London sighting. This was your typical squash match with London getting in very little offence before being dominated. Honestly, I wish WWE would just fire London so he can go elsewhere and wrestle because this is just awful use of a great talent. ** as it served the purpose of putting Lance Cade over (the irony here is that he finished London quicker than his mentor did last week).

– Cade says if that wasn’t enough to bring him out, maybe this will be. Cade introduces Chris Jericho, who is looking ridiculously sharp in a suit, as we go to break. Jericho says as much as the fans want Shawn Michaels here, the fact is, he’s not coming. We get footage from the Bash showing why. Everything that happened last night is on us, the fans. It’s our fault. There is no blood on his hands (nice way to come full circle there). Shawn spurred himself on for all of the fans; he took one chance too many and now he is paying for our sins. He said he was coming back to save the fans but then he realized we don’t deserve to be saved. We sided with an egomaniac and we will regret, just like Shawn. His career is over. He has a detached retina and won’t see properly for the rest of his life. Jericho has no remorse. The ironic thing is, by closing Shawn’s eye he opened his. He doesn’t have to be obsessed with pleasing a bunch of people who can’t think for themselves. He says the people vilified him when he came back. They wanted the Jericho with the long hair who cut jokes, but he has grown up. Shawn Michaels never grew up and neither did the fans. He says he is proud of what he did. By ending Shawn’s career, he considers himself, saved. We go to commercial.
– Another typically good promo from Chris Jericho, the man is known for his charisma as much as anything else, and he is demonstrating it with excellent promos.

– Beth Phoenix defeated Kelly Kelly by pinfall after a wheelbarrow faceplant.
– Decent womens match, but Kelly isn’t exactly a top quality opponent. Beth got the best out of her that she could and it was watchable. * ½

Jim Duggan is in the ring, dressed in T-shirt and trousers. He is thinking about hanging up his boots. It’s been a great 30-year run. He made tons of friends and he survived kidney cancer. He thought about what DiBiase and Rhodes said last week and they may be right. This is a game for young men and it may be time for him to move on. He says thanks. Jerry Lawler cuts him off and gets in the ring. He knows this is none of his business, but there’s no age limit in the WWE. He doesn’t care what Rhodes and DiBiase said. As long as you’re passionate, you can do this as long as you want to do it. The fans chant USA and King asks if he really wants to give that up. Duggan says no, he just needed someone to tell him that. He thanks King as the champs are here. DiBiase says just because King likes to date girls younger than them, doesn’t mean they relate to us. Cody says when Duggan one the first Rumble in 88, he was 2 years old. King slaps the taste out of Cody’s mouth. DiBiase holds Cody back, and says they will continue this another day but he suggests they leave the ring. JBL is here as we go to commercial.

– John Cena and Cryme Tyme defeated JBL and Simply Priceless by pinfall after a Double FU to the tag champs
– Seriously? WWE, you have taken the opportunity to push a talented young team, and you have John Cena dismantle them single handedly. Normally, I’d say a double move like that is cool, but Eric Young has been hitting Double Death Valley Drivers for months on opponents bigger than DiBiase/Rhodes, and I wouldn’t say Young is as “stacked” as Cena which makes it all the more impressive. But whatever happened to common sense booking? Cena has an issue with JBL, Cryme Tyme could do with a shot at the titles, why not let Cena run off after JBL and have Cryme Tyme score a pinfall over the champions setting up a title match down the road? Oh, that would make sense and Cena wouldn’t look like Superman. *

– The Burchills defeated Kofi Kingston and Mickie James by pinfall after a Twisted Sister on Kofi
– Another decent match that could have easily used the 5 minutes wasted at the top of the show. This could have also been a singles match for the amount the women interacted. **

Jamie Noble tries his luck with Layla. Batista is here and asks where Kane is. Noble talks himself into a two-handed chokehold. Batista wants to know where Kane is. We go to a commercial.

CM Punk says he decided to defend his gold tonight because if he is going down, he’s going down swinging. JBL says at Summerslam, he fully intends on wrestling for the title at Summerslam. JBL wishes him luck, because he is a footnote, a transitional champion. Punk points out that his first successful title defence came against him.

We get to see the violent Michaels/Jericho footage again.

Santino says he wanted to fight a man last week. He only fights people with Adam apple. So he reissues that challenge tonight, for a man! D’LO BROWN ANSWERS THE CHALLENGE!

Beth Phoenix comes out to observe.

– D’Lo Brown defeated Santino Marella by pinfall with a Lo’ Down
Do we honestly expect Santino to ever win a match? Thought not. The most interesting part of this match was that D’Lo debuted a move I don’t remember him seeing (a diving clothesline to a seated opponent, which Michael Cole labelled the Sudden Impact). The match was there to re-debut D’Lo (who honestly looked about 10 years younger than he did 5 years ago) and to lead to…..

Beth in the ring as we get replays. Back live, Beth drills Santino. She misses a second right and Santino grabs here. They switch waistlocks a few times and standoff. They eye each other up and Santino grabs her hair. She grabs his cheek and they kiss! Ha, they’re both embarrassed.

Cole and Lawler says Shane and Stephanie McMahon are looking for a new General Manager.

Batista comes out for the world title match, but Kane comes down. They slug it out in the ring and Kane chokeslams Batista! CM Punk is out and tosses Kane to the floor. Kane stalks a cameraman to the back.

– CM Punk and Batista leads to a Double DQ when JBL runs in followed by John Cena
– And the Rey Mysterio push continues tonight for young Mr. Punk. Honestly, WWE held the draft a month ago, giving us the possibility of new feuds, what we get is CM Punk looking like a bitch, JBL and Cena (which has been done to death), Batista in the main event (again), and what looks like Batista vs JBL down the line (something which has also been done time and time again). The brightest feud on RAW was the Michaels vs Jericho, but with Michaels “injured” for the time being, we have Kane’s insanity (which again has been done before), a champion that is getting his ass handed to him by everyone, tag champions getting demolished by Superman. Nothing has changed. -** for giving us the same shit we saw on PPV this past Sunday.

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