WWE RAW Report – July 28 2008
We get clips of last week’s chaos.
Raw starts now.
Michael Cole and The King are our hosts.
John Cena is out to kick off the show, rocking a new shirt. Cena gets booed, ‘cause we’re in Batista’s hometown. He says he is not perfect. Last week, he socked Batista in the mouth and he knows that there will be consequences. He’s telling Batista that they can settle things right now.
Batista is out now, to a massive pop. Batista says that things happen in the heat of the moment and he knows he didn’t mean to hit him and as far as he is concerned, they’re cool. Batista says he likes and respects Cena. He says Cena is the first guy he will defend the title against when he wins it. Cena points out that Batista has had two shots and failed. Cena says there are a lot of guys who deserve a shot and he’s not sure it should be Batista. Batista can’t argue with the logic, but the reason he isn’t champion right now is because people interfere. He knows Punk can’t beat him, and neither can Cena! Oh snap!
Cena says it must be good to be home. Cena laughs it off and says he knew Batista would sneak that in, in his hometown. Cena says there’s no McMahons or General Managers. Cena says Cena vs. Batista should headline WrestleMania. But what do you say WrestleMania happens tonight? The crowd love it. Cena says they will find out who the better man is. Batista says they’ve never faced one-on-one and his friends and family would love to see Cena get his assed kicked.
Shane McMahon is out with the SHANE O SHUFFLE! Shane says he has appointed a new General Manager of Raw, who will be introduced later. The GM has been busy and has made several matches for tonight including…
CM Punk in action against one of the most technically sound and hottest free agents in the business.
John Cena will face JBL and Kane! And his tag team partner will be Batista!
In the back, Beth tells Santino that he kissed her. “Now look here you glamorous Amazon! Santino tells her to keep her eyes up here. He’s not a piece of meat.
Kelly Kelly and D’Lo Brown vs. Beth Phoenix and Santino Marella
Santino and Brown start. D’Lo blocks a kick and hits an atomic drop, rolls through a sunset flip and hits Sudden Impact for 2. Big uppercut by D’Lo, and now a series of clubbing blows. Santino avoids a charge and Santino hits a neckbreaker. Santino can’t lift D’Lo, so Beth comes in and gets D’Lo up in a fireman’s carry. Kelly tags herself and her glorious pants in, and hits a number of forearms but tilt-a-whirls into a backbreaker. Santino says he has her, tags in and misses an album drop. Santino knocks D’Lo to the floor though and rolls Kelly up for 3, and celebrates like he just won the world title.
Winners: Santino and Beth Phoenix
Santino and Beth shake after the match. Santino wants to ask her something, but thinks better of it. He considers going in for another kiss. Beth asks what he’s doing. Santino leaves, but Beth grabs him by the hair and he screams like a little girl. Beth kisses Santino and leaves.
Tonight – Chris Jericho’s final Highlight Reel!
We get a Generation Rescue commercial thing.
Shane McMahon stares at a picture of his dad. JBL asks how Vince is. Shane wants to know what he wants. JBL says Batista and Cena don’t deserve another chance. JBL beat Cena at The Bash. Shane says he needs to take it up with the new Raw General Manager. Shane has his own theme music as a ringtone! Winner! Shane leaves JBL hanging.
World Tag Team Championship: Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase vs. Jim Duggan and The King
The new General Manager has changed the match. Jerry Lawler won’t team up with Jim Duggan. Jerry’s new partner will be… Michael Cole!
We go to a commercial as numerous fans burst out laughing.
We have no commentary for this match, for obvious reasons. Cole gets fair applause when he gets in the ring.
World Tag Team Championship: Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase vs. Michael Cole and The King
DiBiase and Lawler start. Lock up and to the corner they go. We get a clean break, and they lock up again and Lawler slaps DiBiase. Ted charges into a boot but clotheslines Lawler. Rights now by Ted, Cody in. Lawler slaps Cody now! Lock up and to the corner. Cody doesn’t break clean though. Lawler pummels Cody in the corner, but Cody comes off the second rope with a bulldog for 2. Cody applies a overhead wristlock, then drills King with a straight right. Cody misses a second rope knee drop and Lawler with jabs now. Ted gets taken out and Lawler tries a piledriver, but gets back dropped. Cole accidentally tags in. Cody blindsides Lawler and tosses him. Cody brings Cole in, and Codes drills him with a right! Cody blocks a second and clotheslines him for 3.
Winners: Simply Priceless
King and an EMT check on Cole as we go to break.
Mike Adamle is filling in for Cole! He says he has no idea why he is here. You and me both, Mike. King joins him and is pissed.
Jamie Noble says he is the rising star of the show. He has the tools to go to the top, which is why he brought his part-time girlfriend Layla with him, to prove he is the best. He has challenged “Coffee” Kingston to a match.
Adamle busts out “Jamaican Me Crazy!”
Kofi Kingston vs. Jamie Noble
Noble slams Kofi and goes on the attack with rights early, but runs into a boot and gets taken down by a big dropkick. Russian leg sweep by Kofi. THUNDERCLAP! Kicks, by Kofi, springboard crossbody gets 2. Jamie comes back but gets caught with the Trouble In Paradise for 3!
Winner: Kofi Kingston
CM Punk walks as we go to commercial.
JBL is on commentary now.
CM Punk vs. William Regal
Lock up, headlock by Regal. Punk fights out and works a wristlock, Regal fights out and trips Punk and grabs a chinlock. Punk reverses into a hammerlock. Regal rolls through for 2. He grabs a side headlock, but Punk fights out and hits a leg lariat for 1. Punk works the arm and hits a series of knees, but Regal catches him with a kick and a series of right hands. Regal puts Punk’s head by the ring post and boots it, busting Punk’s nose. Knee drop gets 2. Regal locks in a full nelson, but Punk works hi way to his feet and stomps on Regal’s toes to break the hold, but Regal catches him with right and gets a 1 count. Punk fights back and gets a small package for 1 but Regal catches him with a right. More measured right hands by Regal, and now he locks in a modified half-nelson submission. The fans finally get behind Punk who fights out and they slug it out now. Punk hits a few knees and slaps and a big roundhouse for 2! Regal hits the REGALPLEX and Punk is dead. Regal locks in another submission, but Punk counters by lifting him up and nailing the Go2Sleep for 3!
Winner: CM Punk
JBL heads to the ring but here comes Kane! Kane drills JBL! Punk catches Kane with a roundhouse kick but falls prey to a big boot from JBL! JBL and Kane stand off again and talk trash as we head to commercial.
The Final Highlight Reel
Chris Jericho is looking sharp! Lance Cade, not so much. The JeriTron 6000 in HD is still broken. Jericho says he is still vilified for telling the truth and growing up. He has matured and moved on and taken his career to another level. Jericho was seen as a performer and an entertainer and a showman and he played that part because that’s what the fans wanted, and that was a mistake. He will never settle for what we want him to be again so this is the last Hightlight Reel that we will ever see. He has put together a special farewell to one of the greatest performers, a performer he ended the career of. It’s not Shawn Michaels. It’s not H-B-K, it’s Y-2-J. The video shows Jericho’s Doink days, his poking fun at Stephanie, his “Save Us” campaign and other such instances.
Jericho says he doesn’t miss that guy. He is embarrassed of who he was. It is time to move on and he has. One thing he learned from Shawn Michaels is that he could have entertained for years and been a puppet but he would not have been idolized the way Shawn is and that is not fair. He took matters into his own hands so he put Michaels’ head through the JeriTron and beat him to a pulp at The Bash and those highlights mean more than the rest of his career combined. In his head, when he destroyed Shan Michaels, he destroyed each and every one of the fans. He did it to us as well as Shawn.
Cade takes the microphone. He says it’s obvious these people don’t appreciate them, but he does. His career was floundering and he is better than that. Unlike Michaels, Jericho saved him and he will be forever grateful. Jericho appreciates that and appreciates Lance too. Michaels is sitting at home trying to watch the show but he can’t, because of his damaged retina, but he can hear him. Jericho tells Shawn to stay home and move on. Hold on to your wife, raise your children and enjoy life away from the business because he deserves it. Be thankful he has any sight left at all. Move on, because he has.
Jericho hears people jockeying for position for a title match. By putting an end to Michaels, there was on one more dominant than him. If there’s a title match at ‘Slam against Punk, no one deserves it more than him.
We go to a commercial break.
Jim Ross is out. He got a call, saying he needs to be here. He joins the commentary team.
Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall
They lock up and stumble around a bit. Jillian counters Mickiecanrana into a faceplant for 1. Jillian throws her around and pulls her hair a bit. Jillian hits a handspring elbow for 2. Dragon sleeper applied by Jillian, Mickie fights out but Jillian beats her down. Mickie blocks a kick and gets a roll up for 2. They slug it out now and Mickie hits a Thesz Press and a couple of forearm knock downs. Mickiee misses the Mick Kick but hits the DDT for 3.
Winner: Mickie James
Katie Lea Burchill attacks Mickie at ringside and leaves her laying. Katie hopes the GM was watching because that was for him. She says she and Paul are the next Women’s and Intercontinental Champions.
The SmackDown Rebound highlights the Edge/Vickie segment.
Todd Grisham asks Shane McMahon who the General Manager is. Shane plays it cool, and suggests it could be a she.
WWE Title – Triple H vs. Great Khali
ECW Title – Mark Henry vs. Matt Hardy
Hell in a Cell – Undertaker vs. Edge
We get more Autism stuff.
John Cena tells Cryme Tyme he doesn’t need them. Batista shows up. The jist of it is, they don’t trust each other, so they should stay out of each other’s way.
Shawn Michaels will be interviewed next week on Raw!
John Cena and Batista vs. JBL and Kane w/ bag
JBL clubbers away viciously at Cena to start, but Cena comes back with a THROWBACK for 2. Batista in and hits some turnbuckle thrusts but gets telegraphed, only to powerslam JBL. Kane breaks it up so Cena clotheslines him to the floor. The faces stand tall as we go to a commercial break.
After the break, JBL hits Cena with a swinging neckbreaker, or two. Kane in and boots Cena and hits a low dropkick for 2. Kane hits a scoop slam for 2 more and grabs a chinlock. Cena fights his way to his feet but JBL comes in a drills Cena with a kick and clubbing blows. Kane back in and hits Cena with an uppercut. Cena fights back and avoids a charge but runs into a sidewalk slam for 2. Kane goes up top and misses the flying clothesline, and Cena drills him with a DDT! Hot tag both sides and Batista cleans house with clotheslines and a spinebuster to JBL! He takes Kane down with a clothesline. Kane low bridges Batista though, JBL goes out and tosses Batista back in and gets a 2 count. Kane in and drops an elbow on Batista. Kane drives the shoulder into Batista’s ribs and punts him continually. Kane applies a body scissors Batista fights out but JBL prevents the tag.JBL tees off with rights to Batista. Batista blocks the clothesline from Hell with a SPEAR! But a distraction from Kane allows JBL to hit a big boot. JBL accidentally drills Kane with a right. Kane goozles Kane. Batista spears Kane. Cnea is legal, gets the FU on Kane and the 3!
Winners: John Cena and Batista
Shane McMahon is out. He says this is how we started the night. He brings out the new GM… Mike Adamle!
Adamle is in the ring. He says at Summerslam, it will be John Cena vs. Batista. Good luck. They stare down as we go off the air.